Don't know what to do

This is just a vent. It's probably not going to flow, or make any kind of sense...but I need to put it out there just to get it out of my head.
My BP has been out of control for a week now. I've been having crazy headaches, probably because of it. I've also been to labor and delivery twice. It's all disconcerning. All I want is for Alexia to be healthy. Everything I've read about high BP in pregnancy is not good...especially over a long period of time. All the blood vessels get constricted, causing the headaches, but even to the baby. So, the baby loses out on oxygen and nutrients. She has always been fine on the monitors when my BP has been high, so that makes me feel better. And even now she's moving pretty good (especially for morning)...she's more of a night person! But, I've also been told that the inconsistency in the BP isn't good either. And mine seems to fluctuate. It's just so wierd because I never had high BP before. Throughout the whole pregnancy it's been perfect at every visit. Then I get a week long headache and somebody says I should get it checked...come to find out it's through the roof.
I don't want to go back to labor and delivery if it's not necessary. Especially since I've been there twice. I don't want to be that freaky first time mom who goes in 200 times! But, I worry! I go to the dr. twice a week now, and I don't want her to send me to labor and delivery every time I go in!
I'm on bedrest...and I'm not so great at it! But, it's especially hard on the weekends and evenings when Jacob is home. Or this weekend we had so many people in and out of the house, cleaning, etc. I'm so thankful for all of that, but I felt like I should be up doing something! Even though every time I got up someone told me to sit down. By Saturday night my feet were swollen and my BP was high enough to warrant a page to the on-call dr. She told me it was up to me...thanks a lot! She said it may be the same as before where I stay for a couple hours and then go home, or they may admit me to hospital bedrest...because "some people just don't follow the rules on at home bedrest." Yep, that would probably be me! But, I also don't want to be on hospital bedrest for any amount of time.
My dr. had talked about inducing if we couldn't get the BP and headaches under control, even though there hasn't been protein in my urine. I will do whatever my dr. tells me to do. I trust her fully. I just know these last few weeks are so important to Alexia's health. So, I would like for her to stay in as long as she can. But at the same time, I'm ready for her to be here. I'm ready for this to be over with. I absolutely love being pregnant, and I will miss it terribly. And this may be the only time I get to experience it. But, with all the ups and downs, I just feel out of control. And that's not good! I'm a very controlling person. And I've planned and planned...which of course, just makes it more disappointing when you get thrown for a loop!
At this point I just want someone to give me a definate answer. "DO THIS." I would be more than happy to give over control this one time!

Labor and Delivery: Part 2

I had my dr's appt. today. We were there forever! My dr. seems to constantly be running behind. My BP has been high all day and I've had a headache since I got up this morning. Still no protein in my urine though. But, she sent me over to labor and delivery for monitoring since it's the weekend. Before I left she said "I'll see you on Tuesday if you don't have the baby before then." WTF! She had me kinda scared, because she was talking like they were going to induce! We went over to labor and delivery and got hooked up. Stayed about 2 hours. My BP was high the entire time I was there. They did more bloodwork and it all came back good so they sent me home. The dr. on call from my office said that if my headache got worse to come back. She also told me if I just got scared or worried I could come back in, or I could call labor and delivery directly and talk to them. Also, while I was hooked up she said I was having some contractions, but nothing regular. I guess I'll finish packing my bag! And give someone in my family a key to my house, because I was so worried about how they were going to get in to get the rest of my stuff for me!