Saturday, October 24, 2009

Ambien induced...

Posted by danielle at 11:32 PM
I took an ambien, well over an hour ago and I have yet to feel drowsy. So we'll see where this post leads me. Down a sad road, where once again I want to change my life, but don't know how and don't know where to start. I need a job! That's an understatement. I needed a job like 10 months ago! I absolutely LOVE staying home with Lexi all day, but I feel like we need time apart from each other. She's starting to understand what buttons to push that grate mommy's nerves...and she loves to push them! Also, she's going to have to become accomodated to not being held all the time. At least 75% of her day she is being held. She will sit in the exersaucer for a while. She may lay on the floor for a while and roll around. Which brings me to the point of her rolling. She rolls up onto her side and that's as far as she goes. She won't roll all the way over to her belly. She has always hated tummy time...so I don't know if she realizes that if she rolls all the way over, that's where she'll be. She has rolled from her belly to her back...further emphasizing the hate for tummy time. I don't want her to fall behind on her milestones just because she's spoiled to being held all the time.
My second reason for wanting a job is of course to bring in money to help financially support my family. Jacob shouldn't have to do it alone...that's not what he signed up for!
The third reason would be simply so I would get a little credit. SAHM's get zero credit for anything they do. I've never heard of a SAHM who busted her ass to get everything done and then was actually thanked when her hubby came home. That's the hard part about my JOB as a MOM. It may appear as though I sit here on my fat ass all day and never leave the couch. But, that isn't the case. In the rare 5 minutes that Lexi is being an angel there is dinner to plan, dishes to wash, clothes to wash, bottles to wash, clothes to put away, dinner to cook. It's really hard to get all those things accomplished in 5 minute intervals. So, if dinner is burnt or your clothes are wrinkly because they sat in the dryer too long...give me a little bit of a break. In this house we don't take naps. I'm so thankful that Lexi sleeps well through the night. But, she gets so cranky during the day and will take like a 10-15 minute power nap. Well, like as mentioned above, it's hard to get a lot done in those 10 minutes. Because in these little breaks is when I get to brush my hair and teeth, change out of pajamas, pee, and maybe get to eat something.
I respect all SAHM's! I hope they all get the respect they deserve! As for me...as soon as I find a job, I'll be sending Lexi to daycare. Maybe they can win a battle or two for me!

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