Bible Verse of the Day

creeped out.....long story!

Why do I always have to be creeped out by something? Last night Jacob's biological dad started calling around 11. Time out for a little back story:

Jacob hadn't seen his biological dad since he was 4, until last year. He never paid child support or anything, and was pretty much a piece of crap you beat up on Jacob's mom. He's gotten really sick recently and I guess decided to make amends. He randomly called our house last year and we went and met him. It was wierd to say the least! That's all Jacob wanted from him...was to meet him 1 time. And after that he didn't answer his calls. He doesn't want anything else to do with him. So, he just calls at random times now and leaves messages. Okay, back to last night:

We were already almost asleep, and Jacob doesn't want to talk to him anyways. He called 3 times. He left a message the 2nd time. All it said was Jacob and Danielle this is Wayne. So, after that I got freaked out. I just KNEW that he was probably outside our house stalking us. So, I laid here for a while and then had to get up and check to make sure the doors were locked. I didn't sleep well all night, I kept thinking I was hearing things around the house. And then I'm thinking about how I'm here all day by myself and if he decides to show up, what am I going to do? Well, everything was fine today, and I told Jacob how it creeped me out. So, I come in here to the bedroom and lay down watching tv. Jacob is in the living room watching tv, and I have the door shut. He "pages" me on the phone...which I hate anyways because it makes an annoying sound, and why can't you get up from the next room to talk to me?!? So, all he says is come in here. So, I get up and go in there. He asks me if Salem (the cat) is inside...I say no, because I fed him right when we got home and he was outside eating, so he couldn't have snuck in with us. Why? Because he has "seen" someone walking behind him. The way the couch faces, if the curtains are open you can see the reflection behind you because it's dark outside. He said he has "seen" it like 3 times, and he thought it was me, but never heard the door open, and then he thought it was Salem walking on the back of the couch. And the 3rd time he was too scared to do anything except for call me! WTF! What am I supposed to do if there is someone in there? He always does this! Now I'm all creeped out! I already took an ambien so I'm going to start getting loopy here in a little bit and that won't help the situation! Back before we got married we were staying at his grandma's house in Sapulpa while they were on vacation. We were sitting in the tv room watching tv and doing homework and he thought he heard something at the garage door. So, he gets up and goes in there. He calls me in there...well naturally I don't want to go! So, sure enough I get in there and the door knob is shaking! I have my cell phone picked up dialed 911 and ready to send and he won't let me! His car was parked in the garage so he pushed the panic button on his keychain, let it go off for a little bit and then opened the door, ran to the car, flew out of the garage in reverse (thank God he remembered to open the garage door!) The side garage door was standing wide open...it was never locked because we didn't have a key to the house, so that's how we got in while we were staying there. Needless to say, that was an AWFUL night! It was a house I hadn't really ever stayed at overnight, and we weren't supposed to be staying overnight with each other because we weren't married! So, it wasn't like I could call and tell my dad how scared I was and to come rescue me! We shut and locked all the doors in the house and propped chairs up against the knobs like you see on tv! We get psychotic like that! I never stayed in our apartment by myself, but Jacob did sometimes when I would go to Stillwater to see Lisa and Kristin...and he swears he saw a ghost in there. But, then we moved down here to Beggs...this house is old, and that's creepy enough. But, it's always so damn dark! I always slept with a night light until we got married! And then he told me I had to grow up! But, I still would put a night light in the bathroom or kitchen just to cast some kind of glow throughout the house! One night I SWEAR I woke up and saw an enormous black man leaning on the bedroom door frame. I was so freaked out I couldn't move. I know I couldn't scream...I've been scared enough to scream about dreams, but nothing would come out! And I knew I couldn't wake Jacob up because he sleeps really hard and if I were to try to casually wake him up he would wake up screaming "what, huh, what" and that's pointless in that situation! So, I get up later to find that all the deadbolts in the house are still locked, so this has to be a figment of my imagination...there was no one in the house. Which makes me sound crazy as hell, but I can't help it. I swear to you he was standing there. Anyways, let's move on to the next incident where I'm in bed, Jacob comes to the bedroom door and says get up now...okay, I want to know why...just get up now. So, I get up. He proceeds to tell me there someone at the door with a chainsaw! Once again WTF! So, I have 911 ready once again, but before we can do that we have to check it out ourselves. So, we find the flashlight and throw open the other door...shine the light around...see car tracks all through our yard, and our mailbox smashed. So, we call 911 just to file a report in case someone else had issues later on that night, at least it would be recorded! So, the cops come out and decide that what Jacob thought was a chainsaw, was probably the person getting stuck in the ditch, on top of the mailbox, and then trying to get off the mailbox and out of the ditch...because the ditch is really steep right there. So anyways...add tonight's adventure to this, and I guess you could say we're freaks! Freaky things always happen...even if they're not so freaky, they will get blown out of proportion by us! I stayed in this house for 2 weeks while Jacob was in Dallas for work...I had to double check the locks several times every night, I never opened the curtains, and I slept with the tv on all night! Someone I managed to never get too freaked out! But, it is hard to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night when you're not sure if there could possibly be someone else in the house with you! Anyways, I'm sure 1/4th of the people who started reading this have actually made it to this point, and right now that person is begging me to shut up! So, I'll grant you that wish! This subject will be over...but I can't guarantee there will be no more posting for the night!

so true

I have my screen saver set to a slideshow of my pictures. So, it just pops up random pictures. This popped up just now when I walked into the room. So true! And at such a perfect time!

overwhelmed

It's like life changes every single day. Once I think I have things figured out, something else gets thrown in the path. As of Monday we were going to start looking for houses to buy. As of today Jacob wants to go back to teaching. I desperately need a job. But, I feel like that's the most impossible thing to do right now. I'm very obviously pregnant...and I feel like as soon as I walk into an interview the person is automatically going to say no. Therefore it feels pointless to look for and apply for jobs. This makes me feel like a failure as a wife, because I'm not doing anything to help support my family. Jacob wants to go back and teach...it's what he went to school to do. It's where his heart is. But, if I can't find another job, he won't be able to do that, because the difference in pay is just too much...especially once Alexia gets here. I feel like there's nothing I can say to make his decision easier...I just feel bad. I don't think he would have a second thought at all if I still had a job. He has said over and over again that he loves having me home...he doesn't have to worry about me driving an hour to work and back...and I do the dishes, cooking, and laundry now! But, I know that our lives would be easier if we had another paycheck. Things are okay right now with me drawing unemployment, but that's going to run out one day...and it just so happens to be right at the time when Alexia is due! I also know it's going to be way harder for me to go back to work once she gets here! By then I will have been off for like 6 months, and I will have a newborn. And not just any newborn...the miracle that I waited so long for and tried so hard for. And then I'm supposed to leave her 8+ hrs a day? I just feel overwhelmed right now. And I feel like there's nothing I can do to relieve any of the pressure!

Bible Verse of the Day

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.---Isaiah 41:10-11

Thoughts on Today's Verse...Not only does God's blessing rest on us, his presence goes with us. We cannot ever be in a place where he is not with us (see Psalm 139). His presence and power will uphold us and strengthen us. No matter what may happen in and to our physical bodies or our physical worlds, in Jesus, God has given us the ultimate triumph over every enemy and all wickedness. Even Jesus' doubters and enemies will worship our Lord and kneel at his feet and will recognize that our faith is not only appropriate, but it is victorious. (cf. 1 Thess. 1)

headaches and heartburn

Yeah...every night for about a week now, right when I'm ready to go to bed I get heartburn. Tonight's heartburn is like the worst ever though! I can't even figure out what I could have eaten that made it this bad! Alexia better come out with a head full of hair! And who knows where the headache came from, it just hit me all the sudden...about as suddenly as the heartburn.

I went back and did the 3 hr glucose tolerance test today. It wasn't nearly as bad as the one last week. I made it through the whole test without getting sick. However, as soon as I started drinking the orange goo it brought a sick feeling to my stomach. So, hopefully I get the results by the weekend, and hopefully I passed...because I can't give up sugar! No really...it's not going to happen!

The past 2 days I've woken up at around 4:00 and haven't been able to get back to sleep. I just lay here tossing and turning in the bed...it sucks! And today when I woke up, I woke up craving this...hostess apple pie. So, as soon as I was done with my glucose test I went and bought not 1, but 2. I didn't eat them at the time...not the smartest thing...more sugar after fasting for 12 hrs and drinking the orange goo! So, I'm about to eat one now. I've woken up so many times in the past few weeks craving the wierdest foods. Wavy Lays~donuts~apple pie~mcdonald's french fries~the list could go on and on. And living in Beggs isn't the best thing when you wake up at 3 am craving something you don't have!

recipe of the day

Chicken Parmigiano Soup:
http://www.rachaelray.com/recipe.php?recipe_id=431

Of course it's Rachael Ray! But, it was so easy and super good! I can't really tolerate the smell of parmesan cheese, and then mixed with the tomatoes it smelled kinda gross. But, it was really good! I wouldn't recommend actually putting the bread on the bottom of the soup bowl like the recipe suggests. The bread gets really soggy and gross! To me, there's nothing worse than soggy bread! Anywho~really good recipe!