Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I had forgotten

Posted by danielle at 9:33 PM
It seemed like I was pregnant forever, but really it was such a short time and I wish I could go back to those days. Days of being unemployed and pregnant. Sleeping in and taking naps. Eating whatever I felt like, because the baby wanted it! Bedrest meant laying in bed all day and not needing an excuse! Anyways, during the time I was pregnant there are things that I forgot about.
Like my period! You never want to see the slightest speck of blood while you're pregnant, and with my history the threat of seeing blood was never far from my mind. But, thankfully this time it didn't happen! I started birth control at my 6 week postpartum visit. So, that makes this week my "off" week. It is awful! I've always heard about how awful your first postpartum cycle is...and why should I think mine would be easy...but I'm only a few days in and I'm already dying! The cramps are horrendous! Anyways, I know that's more than what some people want to know.
While I was trying to get pregnant, I guess I put all the emotions into being disappointed about not being pregnant once again, so I forgot how emotional this "time of the month" can make you. Today I cried when Michael Jackson's daughter spoke at his funeral. Granted, it was a sad moment. And maybe there's a chance I might have cried any other time. But, I wasn't ever big on Michael Jackson. But, holy moly did the tears start falling while I was watching her. Then, I'm reading another friend's blog and I find myself crying for her. Not to mention my screaming baby. She has colic, so she pretty much screams the whole time she's awake. But, we're driving in the car tonight, and she was hungry, we were on the way home. Jacob is listening to the most annoying music ever, and Lexi is screaming in the back seat. And I seriously wanted to throw myself out of the car! Maybe it's the 5 hours of sleep I got last night. Maybe it's the fact that I had to hold her down while she got 3 shots today. Maybe it's the fact that my mind is full of to-do lists that never get done. I don't know. Everyone says it's going to get easier. But, can someone tell me when?

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