Tuesday, May 5, 2009

May 5, 2009

Posted by danielle at 12:20 AM
May 5, 2009-12:14 am- I’ve taken my ambien, but I haven’t gone to sleep yet. Because all I can think about it how I’m going to have to leave Lexi here tomorrow while we go home. I’m so ready to go home…I’ve been wanting to go home since the day I got here. But, I don’t want to go home without her! I’ve waited so long to have her, and now they’re telling me that I’m going to have to wait some more to bring her home. I don’t feel like I have the strength to do that. Right now I feel like Jacob is going to have to carry me out of there.
I’ve been pumping as much as I can for her, but it just seems like so little. It’s discouraging. The lactation consultant said I was doing great with it, but I don’t feel great about the output I’m giving. Hopefully things will go better once my milk actually comes in. And I hope it comes in soon. I feel bad for not going to see her more. But, when I’m down there it’s just a reminder that I can’t take her home yet. They won’t even let us take her out and hold her. Even if it ends up being just a couple of days, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t leave here without her, I just can’t!

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