Wednesday, March 4, 2009

BFN's

Posted by danielle at 8:59 PM
When I got my BFP (big fat positive) I thought that the heartbreak of seeing a BFN (big fat negative) would be over. I never thought my heart could break for people I've never even met. But, it does. It doesn't get any easier to hear about someone else's cycle "failure" than it did when it was my own. I've "met" so many great people on an amazing website....www.conception-obsession.com. From the very beginning they made me feel very welcome and answered all my questions with honesty and respect. These women have gone through so much more heartbreak than I have, and they stand strong. With each failed cycle I told myself it would be my last, but something within me wouldn't stop. But, I read their stories...the years and years of heartbreak, and I don't think I could do it for that long. Even people whose blogs I've stumbled onto, my heart breaks for them. I read symptoms and look at charts, and just "know" that this will be the cycle they get their BFP. Only for it not to happen for them. And my heart breaks, I feel crushed. Maybe it's just because I truly know how they feel. Maybe it's because I feel guilty...because even though I feel like I've been through a lot, some of these women have been through so much more than me. I pray for these women daily. And I know in my heart that one way or another they will all be great mothers one day. I just wish it could be now!

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