Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I wish...

Posted by danielle at 3:59 PM
I wish I could post a picture of every single outfit Alexia has waiting for her. Yes, I have taken pictures of them all...and it's a huge pile that grows almost daily!
I wish Alexia was here in my arms right now instead of in my belly! I love her being in there and I know I'm going to miss her little movements once she's actually here in my arms, but the anxiety is killing me! I want to know what she's going to look like. From the ultrasounds we are convinced that she's going to look more like Jacob than me. She appears to have cute chubby cheeks, and from her profile the way her little top lip sticks out looks exactly like Jacob's. He's upset...he doesn't want her to look like him...but she's going to be gorgeous! Like Sheila told me the other day. Rosemay(that's what she calls Alexia, because that's her middle name) is going to be beautiful, and Jacob is beautiful...I had e-mailed her an ultrasound picture and a picture of Jacob getting the mail in the snow!
I wish the house renovations were finished. Last week's weather didn't really cooperate, so we're hoping that this week we will get some more stuff done and maybe be able to start moving rooms!
I wish I knew what I wanted to do in Alexia's room. I don't know if I want to paint a bunch of stuff on the walls that we will want to change in a year or so when she's not a baby anymore! But, I definately want her to have a cute room!
I wish my kitchen wasn't so filthy all the time! Even if it's not filthy it looks filthy because it's so unorganized! I don't have room for all the stuff I have...but I've already gotten rid of all the stuff I don't use.
I wish I knew what I'm going to do about a job once Alexia is here. I pretty much have to find a job immediately after I have her because my unemployment runs out! I have no idea what I want to do. I don't think I want to go back to being a dental assistant. But, that's the only real experience I've had for the past 4 years. I've learned I'm not so great at the "customer service" thing, so I want to avoid that. But, I still think I could manage a receptionist or clerical position somewhere. I also considered going back to school for phlebotomy, but don't want to take all the medical asst. classes. Also looked into medical billing and coding, because you can train and work from home! That's a major plus for me. I could try to get an assistant's position at the school, and put Lexi in the daycare there, and get their health insurance. Who knows...but it's coming fast and I need to figure it out!
I wish that I wasn't so annoyed all the time! I feel like a lot of my anger/irritation gets taken out on Jacob, because he's the only person I ever see! But I keep telling myself that part of it is pregnancy hormones (hopefully!) I was off my prozac for about 2 weeks because there was a mixup with pharmacies and I couldn't find it! So, that was rough just having to quit cold turkey. And then starting back at 40mg immediately is giving me the worst migraines I've had in a while...so that makes me more irritable! I don't sleep for crap anymore! I have to get up and pee every 2 hours, even when I've had nothing to drink! And I'm still having back/hip issues! But, I hope Jacob knows that when I tell him he's annoying, it's a temporary thing! When I tell him he's irritating me, it's a temporary thing! But it's weird to be here all day by myself and then have someone else in the evenings...it's just weird.
And finally...I wish for Starbucks Venti Mocha Frappuccino every single day for the rest of my life! At least 1...but I would love to have one anytime I felt like it!

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